walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
