And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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