Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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