sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
