Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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