you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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