youre lurking in front of me
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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