well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize