Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
