I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize