I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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