I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize