My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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