The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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