i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
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Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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