i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
