I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize