the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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