$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
