Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize