Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Life is so much better after having sex.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize