Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
