Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I need water and some morals
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
