Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
