4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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