Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Are we in a gay sports bar?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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