I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina