1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel