Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick