you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
