Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
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