Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She even gives head with a lisp.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize