The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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