At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
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You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
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Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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