"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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