I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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