Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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