Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
