I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
How does one acquire holy water?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
