At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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