i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
