There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize