i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
In America we eat man semen.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
