our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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