May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
