using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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