Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
