it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
