i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
