dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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