Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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