he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
the raccoons are back...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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