Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i barfeds in our rink
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
