I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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