Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize