Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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