Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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