I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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