I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
