sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
