I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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